News Moms Need

This is not an easy day for any of us. I was just contacted by a former co-worker reminding me of that morning we spent together seven years ago. I know of three people who lost there lives that day. My brother is doing his second tour of duty in Afghanistan.  My brother-in-law was supposed to start a new job in Tower 1, but was asked to attend an orientation off-site that day. My husband, a medical student at the time, waited in an uptown hospital for patients that would never come. The Peace Corps office was down there. It was 1997 when I had my interview. I’m sad it’s not there anymore.  That night unable to sleep, I walked down to the shore of the Hudson River from my Bronx apartment. I looked south to the very changed Manhattan sky line and sobbed. Things would never be the same again.

To all of the families, mothers and children who were affected by this horrible tragedy, you’re in our thoughts and prayers today and always.

For information and support, please visit http://www.911families.org/counseling.html

If you’re expecting and planning to nurse your baby, now’s the perfect time to compile a list of phone numbers of friends and family members who have nursed their babies. Breastfeeding is a natural skill, but it is also a learned skilled. Surround yourself with people who support your decision to breastfeed. 

My friend who just had the twins is nursing both her babies. She started to work with a lactation consultant a couple of months before she delivered. For additional support she’s been in touch with La Leche League International (847-519-7730) and International Lactation Consultant Association (919-861-5577). 

In conjunction with the start of the Olympics this week, World Breastfeeding Week 2008 calls for greater support for mothers in achieving the gold standard of infant feeding. Awareness raising activities are taking place in 120 countries world wide. For more information on the theme, exciting events & materials for download, please visit: www.worldbreastfeedingweek.org

The emotional aspects of parenting can be a real challenge for first time moms and dads.  Before you get pregnant it’s important for you and your partner to discuss your reasons for wanting a baby.  Here’s an easy exercise to help get the conversation started. Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Ask yourself why you feel the way you do.

• I think I will be a good parent.

• I like being around children.

• I want to have a baby now.

• I have what it takes to help a child feel loved and wanted.

• I can accept the lifestyle changes that come with starting a family i.e. financial demands, less free time and sleep and more stress.

• My partner and I have a good relationship.

• I would not harm a child physically or emotionally.

• I have support from family and friends.

• I make healthy decisions for myself.

Can you think of any other helpful statements that we can add to this list? What else should a couple take into consideration before having a baby?

Having been a single parent for a number of years, I can say with some authority that it’s hard, I mean really hard. But it’s also great. I have a closeness with my kids that I might never have had otherwise. But back to hard… Whether you are a single parent by choice, divorce, or your spouse is in the military on the other side of the planet, it’s a very tough job.

Day-to-day responsibilities are relentless. All decisions are made by you alone, often with nobody with whom to even bounce around ideas. And when the kids get a little older, they become experts at pushing your buttons with style. Here are some tips for dealing with trying times:

• Continue to take good care of yourself, eating as well as you did during pregnancy, drinking plenty of fluids, getting enough rest and physical exercise
• Ask for and accept help from family members and friends. It makes them feel good, too.
• Avoid cabin fever by getting out of the house each day, even if just for a walk.
• Set clear boundaries with relatives and children. Be flexible, but loosey goosey all the time gets confusing and tires you out. You’re the parent, you set the rules.
• Stick to a schedule when you can. Even babies benefit from a regular routine. Eating and sleeping times will change a lot during the first year and adapting to the baby’s schedule will make life easier for you both. Bedtime can be a fun and cuddly time for you both, but when it’s time for the lights to go out, stick to your guns - you’ll both benefit from the sleep and down time.
• Keep up your friendships and outside activities. Get a parent or sitter to watch the baby one night a week, or take the baby with you to a friend’s house for dinner or meet for lunch.
• Carve out a little time each day just for you, even if it’s just ten minutes. Read a book, find a quiet place to listen to your favorite music or relax in a bubble bath by candle light. Ahhhhhhh.
• Accept a little clutter. For those of us who are neatniks, this may take some practice. But the fact of the matter is getting enough rest and spending quality time with your children is more important than a spotless home right now.
• Talk about your feelings (including sadness, frustration and anger) with someone you trust. You can join a local or on-line support group for parents, too.
• Make friends with other parents (did you keep in touch with the women you met in your childbirth education classes?).

What other suggestions do you have?